It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
