I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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