It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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