if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize