He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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