Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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