so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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