that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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