Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
