There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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