I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
