he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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