You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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