is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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