You don't have asthma, your pregnant
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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