i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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