I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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