Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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