Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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