my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
