Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
