DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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