I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize