dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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