Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
