I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
