yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
