We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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