well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
