The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
