she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
