it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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