She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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