dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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