She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
