Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
