My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
