Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I love having hate sex.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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