I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
