Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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