come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
