My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
