I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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