First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think your dad took our porno
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
