in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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