I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
