So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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