dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
