the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
