And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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