Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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