Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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