Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
