It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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