They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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