problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
